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(no subject) [Aug. 7th, 2008|01:03 am]
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 Goodbye! It was fun.
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ngayon ako, ay ganito [May. 12th, 2008|10:03 am]
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[Tags|, , ]
[Current Location |Mi Cuarto]
[mood |apatheticapathetic]
[music |SpongeCola]

Sometimes the only time I feel really at ease is when I'm going the speed limit. I used to be all about lead foot. Go, go, go, get here, get there, 
get, get, get. Well, gas is damned expensive. So when I absolutely must drive, I drive slow, homie. (Unless I'm really late, ha ha)

Slow down, go around. 
Honk. Flash your highs. Call me names. I'll smile, wave. When zen hits you like this, you'd smile, too. 
Stress melts, problems sorted. 
No, I won't answer your call, I won't text you back.
The radio isn't even on sometimes

Easy livin'...

Then I park and open the door and the world rushes in, sigh.. Atleast I'll have a sanctuary to come back to.

Hm, finals this week. Should be studying. Summer school, too. Calc will be not so bad, Bio too (have to read read read read), CS might be way whack attack, Physics is down the drain, hope to atleast pass. Stressful stuff.

Time to go for a ride.

 
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(no subject) [Apr. 30th, 2008|12:44 pm]
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There are more than a couple people I'd like to just sit down with, cut all the bullshit and awkwardness and things holding us back from normal conversation, and say, "Hey, what's been up, how've you been?"

But some people are too proud. 
Some are tired of me.
Some are hurt, I think.
Some avoid me.

I can live up to my mistakes, though.  I do regret some things, but I can live up to them, I don't run away from those who've hurt me before.
 
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Want to; Need to [Apr. 25th, 2008|08:59 am]
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[Tags|, ]
[mood |anxiousanxious]

I want to:
play music
play video games
paint
move my room around
buy shit
complain 
be with her always
travel far away
read all my books
spend time with family
have fun with friends
quit

I need to:
do hw
catch up in classes
lose sleep
focus
spend less time with her
spend less time outside
stop being distracted
finish strong

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Hello, Sun [Apr. 23rd, 2008|01:26 pm]
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[Tags|, , ]
[Current Location |IIT - Main Campus greens]
[mood |hothot]
[music |QotSA - Little Sister]

Maaan, I better make some big money  going through all this. I'm thinking about switching majors to CIS, but I don't know. Maybe I'm being lazy. I can handle math and computer science and all that, but PHYSICS OMG. 

Anyway, sun's coming over more often, so I better get my bike prep'd and all that. Even though I have school during the summer, me and the sun can still have a good time. 

My goal this summer is to lose 40 pounds. Last summer, I actually went for the gusto and lost 30, but I gained it all back with school and stress. I want to see if I can do it. I'm shooting high so I can be motivated. 

I will quit my job soon.

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Samsung T429 [Apr. 21st, 2008|12:40 pm]
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[Tags|]
[Current Location |IIT - Stuart Bdg]
[mood |crappycrappy]

Honestly, I just got off to a bad start.
Honestly, I can't make an honest attempt. 
Honestly, I've been lying. 
 
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Rush University Medical Center [Jan. 29th, 2008|05:06 pm]
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[Tags|]
[Current Location |Rush University Medical Center]
[mood |hungryhungry]
[music |Atmosphere - Strictly Leakage]

So where did I leave off? Yesterday, I was just waiting for breakfast.

I spent most of my time yesterday watching t.v. and trying to do homework. I think that hospital food isn't so bad. I like it. I especially like that you could set your watch to it, and it has to be healthy, somehow. Anyway, I lap up the food like whoa in hospitals.

So I almost had my first sponge bath. There was this nurse who offered, but she looked like she could be an aunt (which is bad news bears), so I had to compromise to let her wash my back, and convinced her that I was healthy enough to wash myself via the sink behind a curtain (even though there was a shower in the bathroom) while she "fixed my sheets". The staff at Advocate was pretty nice.

Because the hospital is not in my network, I had to wait for transport by ambulance in order to get to one that is covered by insurance. The transport team were like, you could tell were kind of jocks/army guys before. They had me rolling, because they were being themselves. "Yeh, the nurses at Rush are hot! Ask for a sponge bath there." and if there was a looker, one would say in a interesting/pseudo-masking tone, "Vahjayyjayyy". It was hilarious. I knocked out in the ambulance on the way.

The nurses here at rush are certainly younger. My aunt works here though, just not on the same floor. The staff seems more in a hurry, but it's alright. I'm all critiquing different aspects of hospitals now. Here in my room, I don't have a room mate, but the view from the window isn't as nice (you could see the skyline from the other one), the food tray that goes over your bed is fancier, the channels on tv here are not as good (because I can't watch ninja warrior), but the bathroom is bigger, etc etc.

Karl, Sam, and Tiffany tricked me into thinking they weren't coming by texting me all crazy, standing in the hallway of my door. I was gonna be really bummed, but they came in and I was all full of glow. They watched me eat/get more blood taken/get more inhalants/etc etc and then had to go because my mom got off of work at her hospital (which is next to this hospital) and visiting hours were over.

The night went okay. I kept requesting apple juice, I'm pretty sure I took every one on the floor. I can't get used to being woken up every four hours to take medicine that takes a long time to take (my "hookah for asthmatics") so I haven't got much sleep at all.

The wheezing is going down and I'm able to control it now, without IV drugs, or time consuming inhalants. On top of that, I'm orderded not to work or go to school until monday, so okay. I guess I can keep up, thanks to the interweb!

Since I'm being released tonight, I requested a big dinner that I'm waiting for. Sigh, I really had a good experience because I was just so grateful to be cared for, and just be able to relax by myself and whatnot. I'm really thankful for all the people who showed concerned and wished me well. Now, let the healing begin!
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Advocate Illinois Masonic Medical Center [Jan. 28th, 2008|09:24 am]
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[Tags|, , ]
[Current Location |Advocate Illinois Masonic Medical Center]
[mood |anxiousanxious]
[music |The Strokes - Run Run Run!]

This for sure is a long one.

Did you know I was actually born in this hospital? I've been in and out of hospitals when i was much younger and a couple times recently, but I've only been born here. Sigh. There were so many other things I've been meaning to post about.

It started, I want to say about two weeks ago. Chicago always undergoes some great deep freeze, as you may or may not know. This deep freeze can happen anytime during the winter, with little to no real warning, with a duration that I guess I'll never figure out. The change in weather to cold and dry from whatever wreaks havoc on my situation with asthma. Usually, I catch it in time and just go to my doctor for meds to help me get by.

This time was different, as I'm working hard to not fuck up in school, and try to get more hours to pay for school, I'm sad to say that my health kind of took a backseat to those. So, yes, breathing is real difficult, since the air is constantly dry and cold. The windchill makes everything about ten degrees colder and worse for me. What happens is that my air ways begin to close up in order to keep whatever heat in. I bundled up but it didn't work out all that well.

So after the school week was over, I helped my tito Ponso move into a new house with my brother and dad. It was going alright until I got outside with the cargo. The stress of lifting plus that arctic Chicago wind caused gratuitous use of my rescue inhalors. The feeling is like running for three miles (marathon if you're a good runner) after smoking for a couple weeks before that instead of training. Ha, what a nerd. This usually keeps these flare ups under control.

After that, I go to Tiffany's house to cap the night with movies and pizza. The night is going well but I'm wheezing so so hard and my inhaler gives out, the second one in the last two weeks (which is real bad, since I'm only supposed to have one a month). So my bro brings my nebulizer, which is like hookah for asthmatics. You put medicine in and it makes a mist I can breath in. After that I go home and vomit (Did I mention when I'm sick my asthma flares? Guess what, I'm sick. Oh, fucking boy!).

I fell asleep around one and woke up around three as if I was drowning. I was breathing real hard, sweating, coughing, and wheezing. That's it, I thought, I can't catch my breath, it's time to get some help. I had to ask my mom, and I was embarrassed because she was pestering me to make an appointment all week, to get me an ambulance. I felt like falling down because it was so damn cold. Being nitpicky, the guy in there had no fucking idea what he was doing.

In the ER, Tests, giant nebulizers are done. My brother and dad follow. Im not wearing socks or a jacket. I think that what happened in the next six hours what happened were tests, monitoring, and a shitload of questions as I drifted in and out of sleep. It's finally decided that I need a room, so I finally get some food and some rest.

Around 1, my brother brings my backpack over for hw (nerd) and we watch tv (Ninja Warrior, since we don't have cable at home). Tiffany comes an hour later and Karl leaves because he's bored a little later. Spending the day with Tiffany was no different than our usual hang outs, we just really relish our time together, which makes it great since no one really bothered us, which is cool and the staff here is great.

I'm getting better but still a little wheezy. I have this one doctor who wants to transfer me to a hospital covered by our insurance (instead of going home), for two more days, though. Eff that though, I don't really have time. I will try to compromise for one more day, but that's it. I'm not about to fuck up my semester in the second week already. I'm focused. I need to shower/brush my teeth.

It's fucking weird having someone reconnecting your nodes (which are on my chest) in the middle of the night.
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Yeah, Bears lost, I'm Tired of Talking About It. [Feb. 5th, 2007|10:10 pm]
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I was just thinking back to Edwin and Gina's wedding, via Joe's Youtube channel, and was all filled with nostalgia and goody good feelings.
One thing that struck me was that before the ride there, there was a little *keff cough* bubbly and i was a little *cough keff* tipseh. I remember kneeling in the pews and looking to my right as a photographer snapped a picture, I was pretty out of it. I remember thinking, "Am I supposed to be struggling to stay awake, whispering about 'laying pipe', and wonderfully warm during a moment like this?"

I smiled because someone answered "I do"
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(no subject) [Feb. 4th, 2007|09:55 pm]
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still a bears fan, duh.
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