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Obvious Two Thousand and Six Reflections [Dec. 31st, 2006|04:57 pm]
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[Tags|, ]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |Alkaline Trio - You've Got So Far To Go]

Well, fuck. Oh six was one of those years that just really really makes me sigh because it was so great. Everything was so chill this year, so laid-back, and ready to go. It started out during my junior year and I had already decided that my resolution was to take it easy. Stress was a part of the year, but only if it was absolutely necessary.

I might've partied a bit much, drank more than what is healthy, kissed like a man whore, and danced until i was dizzy- but I think I grew a lot. I realize it's a little more than hard to itemize what actual "growing" I did, so I'll just give it a blanket generalization: I know myself a lot more. I'm alittle more secure with myself and my own decisions (esp as a libra, i guess) People who I thought were gods have so many flaws that I just couldn't ignore, showed me that I don't have to be what's expected of me. It's hard to deal with life sometimes, so some people will bitch and moan about it until someone gives them a pat on the back and tells them it's alright, which will never really solve anything unless you did something about it. I really wish I grew taller though, haha.

This year was a 'milestone' for me because not only did I grow, but I also became a legal adult. That is, I can charged as an adult. Being 18 is pretty overrated, though. All the things I would get slapped on the wrist for are now criminal. I guess that's part of the growing up I did, staying out of dire trouble.

Family. Oh, family. There are some who think family can do no wrong, and there are some who think they're all wrong. I would like to say I've found the midpoint this year as a person who thought the former. They're human, and make just as many mistakes as you do. Even though you may look up to some, they might be complete assholes and you would never really realize it! But that's family, we all hold special expectations and ideals about family, but they're just as fucked up (or not) as you may be, but you love them anyway, because they're all you have in the end.

I really don't want to place pressure on next year by putting giant expectations on it, just to hope for the best (defeating the purpose ultimately hahah!).

Two thousand and six will leave us at midnight, but will live in our journal entries, pictures, writings, drawings forever. It's been a great year!
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Rationalities, Reasons, Excuses [Nov. 21st, 2006|01:17 am]
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[Tags|, ]
[mood |peacefulpeaceful]
[music |Johnny Cash - Legend]

So, I was going to write about some other bullshit, but I've decided today after turning in some college applications, I realized I don't want to leave the state. Or Chicago for that matter. Someone asked me why, and while I thought I had the answer, I didn't. So I began to think more about this. Here's a brief, abbreviated list:

1) For one, here is where my roots are. I'm so comfortable here. COLD AS FUCK, but I'm a husky ass anyway. Some of my bestest friends haven't left yet.
2) I've never seen the whole city. And there's so much to see, trust me. I thought I saw it all, but coming home from the Illinois Institute of Technology, I realized there were so many places I haven't loitered around.
3) I have yet to do all of the LetterBoxing things in the city.
4) So many weirdos I haven't seen. I've met the weirdo on Western between Lawrence and Lincoln that sits on the fire-hydrant and is engulfed in pigeons, as well as Jean Le who dances for hours in Wicker Park when I do my laundry there. But that's just the tip of the iceberg.
5) I'll save money. God knows I don't have much of that
6) I can take the train or bus anywhere.
7) I just built a room in the shop.
8) My brother needs someone to pick him up when he gets drunk later on in his high school life.
9) Just got my bedroom just the way I want it.
10) Now that I'm 18, I can go to all of those concerts I want to within walking distance.
11) I'm lazy and I love this city.
12) Haven't been to a Bears game.
13) Still want to go to see a play or two.
14) The further you go, the more places I'll have to visit.
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A Lowfat Creamy Blend of Starbucks Coffee and Milk [Oct. 3rd, 2006|12:41 am]
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[Tags|, ]
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |Nick Drake - Bryter Layter]

What keeps me moving is knowing that there's going to be a reward. What hinders movement are those questions tangent to it: But what kind of reward? How big? How much is it worth? Does it outweigh the struggle? Do I get it right away?

When is it okay to stray away from the prize from just a minute to smell the flowers? I don't understand the rush and anxious worry of this movement. It must be important if it has such high priority that it must be hurried, but in the same vein, it has to be a trick too quick to be pondered.

I get so tired up there, I become sloppy and undisciplined. What good am I then? No good, obviously. I've made the worst mistakes while half awake. It's from this lack of rest that I find that the struggle escapes me and leaves nothing but anger and frustration. But there has to be something there, something so completely worth this negligence/complete denial of replishment that in the end will realize before me. I can almost cry.


What keeps me moving is you.
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Is the word Serendipity? [Sep. 28th, 2006|10:41 pm]
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[Tags|, ]
[mood |blankblank]
[music |Sufjan Stevens - Come on! Feel the Illinoise!]

It's kind of like how in the history books, you see Europe, all desperate to find a path to Asia for those sweet, sweet Asian goods (and inventions). They learned and thought about the world and tried their damnedest to just get there. They thought they were so damn clever after awhile and knew just about everything there was to know about getting to Asia. It was all Europe that about. Then they decided maybe it'd be cool to see the edge of the world. Oh, maybe we can get to the Orientals this way? Probably not, but let's see-- because the Orient is on the mind! They wait, while still trying to figure out how the fuck to get to the damn chinks. And they wait. And they wait.

Then, from nowhere, Europe discovers that there's a new, exciting place. The possibilities are endless here. And they just kind of fuck up their priorities and say, "Ohh, shiit. The fuck are we supposed to do now?"

That's the spot I'm in right now.
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(no subject) [Jul. 30th, 2006|10:43 am]
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAKVILLA KILLA THRILLA !!!!!

Happy birthday, cuz, party it up, keep in touch, dont ever change, have a kick ass summer, class of 03 forever (and so on)
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Late Night Doings [Jul. 13th, 2006|02:26 am]
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[Tags|, ]
[mood |sleepysleepy]
[music |Atmosphere - The Fun EP]

Late nights at home mostly entail (in no particular order): 
Watch whatever late night news/ talk shows, 
finding a cool area to languish in, 
craigslist, 
think about doing homework, 
facebook, 
attempt to start painting by setting up but then doing something completely unrelated, 
read away messages, 
talk to Jino on aim about girl and give him bad terrible, terrible advice, 
talk to Karl on aim about what we're gonna buy, 
look for some new porn,
play guitar/make up crappy songs in the hotbox, 
etc.


 This summer is great.  Summer school got old quick, but I'm half way done, and it keeps me out of trouble during the day. I'm giving up the car for real now. For the time being, anyway. Gas is too expensive, and well, too many goddamn bad drivers. I didn't have too much of a problem driving people around, but in this family, the car is nowhere near freedom it seems. Responsibilities like mad. Especially driving around my sisters, with all their overdramatic ass things. It was cool driving my brother especially. Mostly because we're tight like that, nahmean? Sorry if you don't really understand what that's like. 

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Independence Routine [Jul. 4th, 2006|05:20 pm]
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Well, I woke up about 4 hours ago, so it has to be summer, and I feel like blowing shit up- so it's either I'm drunk or it's Independence day. Pretty sure it's gonna be both as soon as Jason picks me and bro up.  I'll have pictures, but as seeing as I don't have a host, I have no idea how how I'm going to let you all see it. Unless you have a facebook.

I'm gonna buy some ear plugs because last year I was deaf for a good 8 hours. Ah, I love it. Even though it's illegal in this state, it isn't in the bordering states. This year we went about two weeks ago to get our loot. Earlier the better as there are better sales and cops won't be waiting at the highway exits to confiscate your booty. It was me, bro, Joe, Jason's girlfriend (ugh) and Jason. we ended up dropping 150+. I'm going right now, actually

Damage report in a few. HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY, YOU SLACK JAWED FUCKS!
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Emphasis on the 'L' [Jun. 28th, 2006|01:48 pm]
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[Tags|]

It gets alittle tricky balancing summer school with my summer doings. When I'm with friends, or doing what I really want to, time flies fast. When I realize I've wasted my time, I come home and "settle in" which consists of taking off various clothing pieces and being a lard ass. More time flies. Then I realize i have to homework, which I do, and it takes forever. I fall asleep late, and wake up early for school. The whole time in school I'm fucking around and whatnot and after that I go straight to were whatever's happening. Thus restarting the cycle. I'm managing fine enough for now. Nothing's gonna stop me from having a good time, you know?
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(no subject) [Jun. 27th, 2006|01:28 am]
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updates from the city of wind
-summer school sucks but is not hard
-summer break equals summer clothing, equals summer wood? wtf
-i hate driving
-i love biking
-and drinking
-pondering drinking and biking
-girls love my belly
-girls hate my belly
-waiting for cousins for wedding, who are all arriving and fucked times
-out of porno passwords
-etc.'s

okay, until the next!
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And Thus, Jell-o. [Jun. 7th, 2006|07:14 pm]
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[Tags|, , ]

On six, six, oh-six, at around 12:23 in the morning (or so). A friend of mine (Taco) took it upon himself to lead me and my friends to the lake, looking for the devil. For reasons that escape me. Maybe to make his girlfriend look like a girl in exchange for his soul. I was pretty tired. I fell asleep and woke up at the devil's hour (3 am) with a pile of sand on my chest. I saw figures in the distance, red glowing eyes. I freaked out and did my patented Liu Kang pose.

It was obviously just them with their stupid glow sticks coming to get me because the cops told them to get off the beach. Stupid kids.

I'm supposed to be studying for finals, but instead obsessed with Facebook.
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